Medical Expenses

One goal for the day: To go through four inches of unopened bills in the medical file.

Progress: All have been opened and are now dispersed into nine different vendor piles.

The review: Many are from the summer. Operation prep, biopsies, metal clip placement to mark the tumors, the surgeon, three surgeries. I haven’t delved into the costs to see if they are accurate, nor have I really felt like reviewing the physical details.

Instead, my attention turns to another smaller, manageable one-service date affair. The expenses of September 18, 2009. The day of the seal.

There are two sets of billings, one from the hospital and one from the doctor. Knowing the details of the day, I find great humor in the billing descriptions.

From the hospital “ER Charge – Level 2” $220 *** Each showing of Nemo =$110 -- Plus there’s a slight discrepancy: we were Level 4 the day of the event.

From the hospital “Removal of foreign body” $200 *** The rock was removed with long-handled tweezers owned by the hospital. Foreign body? It was a home-grown rock.

From the doctor “Physician” $86 *** Diagnosis: “Liam, you have a rock in your nose.” Well-established before the trip.

From the doctor “Surgery” $357 *** 20-second operation of long-handled tweezers.

From the hospital “Service Charge” $6 *** Bubbles? Crayons? Purell? Probably Purell.

Nearly $900. I think a variety pack of crochet hooks would run less than $10.

The bottom line: What I already knew. I would be independently wealthy if paid for the services I provide.